Getting an appointment with a specialist is a challenge in our area right now. There are long waits, up to 18-24 months, and some specialists aren’t even accepting new patients. As a parent who is overwhelmed by needing help, waiting to see if it was just a phase or if they would grow out of it, you are anxious for answers.
While you are waiting for your appointments, there are some things you can do. First, take a deep breath. You are doing everything you can for your child and even though it can’t be right now, you are taking the next steps and that’s all you have to do at this moment. Great job!
Here are some ways to make your wait a little easier:
Continue to Love and Cherish Your Child
They are who they are and any diagnosis or description from a doctor (specialist or otherwise) doesn’t change that!
Take Lots of Deep Breaths and Breaks For Yourself
Call on your spouse, family, and friends to give you some time away (even if it is only into the bathroom for a relaxing bath).
Continue to Educate Yourself About the Resources for Your Child and Their Challenges
Ask any current service providers for information and material in the way YOU learn best (ie. handouts, books, websites, podcasts). Don’t be afraid to ask questions and ask them again if you don’t understand. (Your providers LOVE to dive in and show their expertise, don’t be afraid to ask them to explain something in a different way).
Set Up a Support System for Yourself
Find
parent groups
for parenting a child with neurodivergence, there are general neurodiverse groups, that can be really helpful. It gives you an opportunity to see you are not the only one going through this, and also allows you to exchange some strategies/ideas with some other moms who are going through the same daily struggles. This is not a place to get all of your answers or to go down a rabbit hole, so be aware of the way people ask for and offer help to make sure it’s a right fit for you.
Spend Time With Friends Who Have Kids The Same Age
It is important to surround yourself with people who are supportive, but you do not need to be reminded of diagnosis/delays all of the time. It’s good for your child to be around typically developing peers and vice versa - encourage learning and acceptance.
Don't Stress Over Whether This Doctor/Specialist Will Change The Outcome of Your Child's Life
Your child is who they are and the doctors may put a name to the symptoms but it doesn’t change the outcome of who your child will become. In fact, most of our kids’ challenges in dealing with routines become their strengths as adults when they are able to do things in the way that suits them best.
Implement The Daily Strategies Your Child's Team is Putting Into Place
Let the therapists know what strategies are working or not working, or which ones you just can’t take on right now so you can create a more realistic plan.
Allow Your Child to Progress at Their Own Rate
They will get the new motor skill, the words, the ideas in time. It may not look like you imagined, and we still need to move one step at a time.
Know That It's Okay To Cry
You had this idea of who your “perfect child” would be and you have to grieve for that loss. Many parents seek out professional services for themselves during this time as it is a lot of stress on the whole family.
Call The Doctor/Specialist Your Child Is Scheduled With Often
Call to see if there are any earlier appointments or put your name on the cancellation list. The people you are speaking to will have you on their mind and will be more likely to call you to fill a last minute opening.
Remember You Are Not Alone
There are many families going through something similar. There are resources for everything you need. If you haven’t found one that feels like a good fit for you, keep asking, keep searching.
If you are going through this process and need help figuring out how to find the help you need, the Special Needs Collective is a local resource that brings parent recommended providers with availability
and a variety of expertise together all in one place for parents to get the information they need. Our community discovery calls
take place twice a month on Monday mornings and are an open and free call for parents to ask questions about finding the services they need and finding excellent providers to support them on their journey through raising a child with neurodivergence.